Carrie

"Now dust is her hands and dust is her heart./ There is never an end to it." (Kooser, pg. 635)

This passage was important for the same reason why it lept out to me. To me, it was a message that this woman dedicated her life to something that was her destiny to become. All her life she was trying to rid herself of dust and each day she got closer to becoming it.

It interested me because it is such a unique way to view life and death. We all have something ti live for, and sometimes the things we live for become us in death.

Counting The Beats paraphrase

"You have me, my love and I have you," he said. "If we didn't have anything more than each other, I don't think we would even care." But time ticks by and each minute brings them closer to death. The outlook is pleasant today, and maybe for several more to come, but it cannot always be this way. One day, the end of life will come and tear them from this world and from each other. "Where will we be, when death comes to separate us?" she asks. "We will be together, as we always will be," he says, and time continues to pass and they remain together.

When I was one-and-twenty

"The heart out of the bosom/Was never given in vain;/Tis paid with sighs a plenty/And sold for endless rue." (Housman, pg. 586-57)

The most eye catching words in this particular quote were the ones where the speaker describes the price of giving your heart away, with "sighs a plenty" and "endless rue". I agree that it is paid this away. I also feel that it's paid with tears, smiles, and even a skipped heartbeat or two.

This line was important to the poem because it explains why the wise man is warning the other of giving his heart away. He was insistent on keeping the heart in your own possession, and keeping your "fancy free". This is not because he was selfish or self-serving, but because he knew the consequences of falling in love.

This guy knew what he was talking about.

Haiku

The haiku I wrote was a mash-up of the past three quotes I chose to write about from our readings. First from "A Well-lighted Place", then from "A Rose For Emily", and finally from "Everyday Use". I mashed them up into one Haiku.

A light for the dark,
So when I hold my head high
It will be God's work.

Mock Orange paraphrase

I chose the poem Mock Orange by Louis Gluck. I paraphrased it the way I saw it if it was being written as a short story.

I have been detestable. I have given myself to another in a way that disgusts me. Our bodies lay there together, and he kisses me. Our union is humiliating. In the act, we were one but not in a long manner. And when it was done, we were immediately two again. We are fools who give in to our primative desires, who betray our self-guiding thoughts for lust. When it's done I smell the mock orange from outside, and it will forever burn this moment into my memory.

Curl Up & Die

"Clinging to the remnants of perfection like most do after they break it.
Not knowing which directions the correct one, do I discard or remake it?
Cause if I don't know then I don't know but I may know someone that knows me more than I.
And if I somehow could rest this soul maybe control could find its way back to my life."
(Thiessen)

I chose this song for OH so many reasons. This song, titled "Curl Up And Die" by Relient K, found it's way onto my iTunes at a time when I was searching for direction in my life.

You can look at this song in many different ways. On the surface, it's a song of breaking up. The singer is telling a story of wanting change for his life and not wanting his girlfriend to be a part of it anymore, but having a hard time moving on. This is told in the line "Not knowing which directions the correct one, do I discard or remake it?" How easily can we all relate to losing a significant other, trying to find peace in our lives, and wondering how to move on?

When you look underneath the surface message to find a deeper meaning, it is a song about making any significant life change, and being afraid of what will happen when you do and what could happen if you don't. Nobody likes feeling as though their lives are out of their hands, and the singer conveys his need to change this when he sings "If I somehow could rest this soul maybe control could find its way back to my life".

This song has a Christian undertone, as interperated from the line "If I don't know then I don't know but I may know someone that knows me more than I". However, this "someone" he mentions may not only be limited to God. It could also be anyone in our lives that is our "savior" when we're in our darkest hour.

Overall, I felt that these few lines were the most powerful line of the song. It shows the weakness of the singer that was shown in the previous verse of the song, when he says "I don't like the place I'm in, headspace within the hardwood and the ceiling", and his longing for closure. But it transitions into the next phase of the process, which is looking past the past and towards the future and finding that place where he can be happy.

This song was my guide for picking up the pieces of my heart after a split with my husband. The breakup was what I'd wanted, what I needed after living through abuse for over three years, but moving on was not easy for me. This is why I chose the passage I chose, because I was "clinging to the remnants of perfection" of my love for the man I made my husband, and I went back and forth in my mind about whether it was worth giving him a chance to redeem himself. Thiessen sings "I feel fine but I know the same does not apply to you...So I guess that I'll curl up and die, too." I found myself saying this too many times, willing to look past the pain he caused me, LITERALLY, to make him happy. Oh, the things we do for love.

You can find listen to the song here:http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#curl%20up%20and%20die%20relient%20k

The Second Stage Turbine

I didn't get a chance to do a lot of reading this week, so I decided I'd talk about one of my favorite bands, Coheed and Cambria.

Coheed and Cambria is a band from New York. They are considered to be a concept band. The songs follow a story, throughout all the albums. At the risk of sounding too vague, the basic gist of the story is about a war in the world, and a struggle to fight off the oncoming evil. There are songs about despair and losing a loved one. There are songs about leaving people behind. There are songs about fighting, and songs about interrogation, and anything else involved in matters of war.

All of their albums are based on comic books that were written and illustrated by the lead singer, Claudio Sanchez. These books are called "The Amory Wars", and they help shed more light on the story. According to the story, Coheed and Cambria are the main characters. They are the center of the "evil" that is being unleashed on the world, but they are completely in the dark as to why.

The song, "The Devils In Jersey City", is explained in more detail in the comics. In the song, they say "Sweet Josephine, will you follow me home?" Josephine is the daughter of Coheed and Cambria. At this point in the story, Josephine and her boyfriend were together in a less inhabited part of town, Jersey City, and Josephine's boyfriend had just proposed to her. He asked her to leave with him, but she wanted to stay. They were confronted by a gang called The Devils. The Devils raped and beat Josephine, and her boyfriend was too afraid to stop it. In the song, they explain this by saying, "Speak up, let out. Caught in the crossfire Compared to the step to the bone that might break, It's too late to find a better way out of this, With the finest regards that I lost, In the cracks of this street"

I haven't had a chance to read past the first volume, but I plan to explore the other installments of the story.

A similar band to Coheed and Cambria is The Dear Hunter. Their songs all follow a specific story as well. However, I have just recently discovered this band, so I couldn't tell you what their story entails.

A Well-Lighted Place

""I am of those who like to stay late at the cafe," the old waiter said. "With all those who do not want to go to bed. With all those who need a light for the night."" (Hemingway, pg. 150)

The last sentence jumped out at me the most. It seems obvious by the tone of the earlier conversation with the two waiters, that by "light", he didn't mean physical light. He meant it to be more like "distraction", like "escape", or something to help you avoid sleep. This could be because falling asleep allows the opportunity for our thoughts to run free, and it becomes difficult to ignore them.

This quote brings depth to the old man and the old waiter. It brings the internal struggle of the older men to the surface. The young waiter cannot understand them, clearly. After this I went back and re-read the conversation on page 148:

"Last week he tried to commit suicide," one waiter said.

"Why?"

"He was in despair."

"What about?"

"Nothing."

"How do you know it was nothing?"

"He has plenty of money."

It seemed, after reading the full story, that it was the young waiter that claimed the old man had no reason to kill himself. He can't relate, because of all the positive things in his own life. He has a "light" of his own at home in bed with his wife, from his youth, and from his confidence.

I enjoyed this story, because I feel I can relate to the feeling of wanting "light" for the night. I can't say I know the reasons why the other two men need it, and I won't assume, but I can empathize nonetheless. Sometimes, for me, it's easier to stay up all night, and disconnect myself from life.

What happened to Marry Poppins?

Well, considering I'm one day fresh from finishing the entire Twilight saga, I had originally planned to write this blog about how much Bella gets on my nerves and how many times I had to stop myself from throwing the book across the room. Tonight, though, I came across a fictional character that infuriated me even more than whiny Bella Swan. While babysitting my 9 year old cousin Annie, she and I were reading aloud from the book Mary Poppins Comes Back.

Before we started reading, Annie warned me that Mary Poppins was "sort of mean". I think that was the understatement of the century. The book version of Mary Poppins is surly, hot-tempered, and just downright rude to Michael and Jane. She is nothing like the movie version of Mary Poppins, who at least is sweet and somewhat loveable.

She only read me one chapter, but that's all I needed. I listened to Mary spit venom at Michael when he mentioned the merry-go-round (c'mon, you know you remember the merry-go-round) being in town. I heard her crush the children's hopes by telling them that nothing good will last forever, not even her. I have no idea why they think she's good, when she's so quick to put them in their place, which she seems to think is just beneath her feet. This is a passage straight from the book.

"Oh do come on, Mary Poppins! You look all right," said Michael impatiently.
She wheeled about. Her expression was angry, outraged and astonished all at once.
All right, indeed! That was hardly the word. All right, in her blue jacket with the silver buttons! All right with her gold locket round her neck! All right with the parrot-headed umbrella under her arm!
Mary Poppins sniffed.
"That will be enough from you-and more!" she said shortly. Though what she meant was that it wasn't nearly sufficient.

I suppose the question that's on my mind is....what happened to Mary Poppins? I've never read the first Mary Poppins, myself.

Was the movie version sweetened up, so as not to frighten children? She's practically a monster!

Is this the sort of nanny children from the 60's loved to read about? I personally would have stopped reading after her first malicious retort.

I wish I hadn't read this book, for now I can never love Mary Poppins the same!

Team Maggie

"She looked at her sister with something like fear but she wasn't mad at her. This was Maggie's portion. This was the way she knew God to work." (Walker, pg. 70)

The words that struck me as the most important was the entire last sentence. "This was the way she knew God to work." I interpreted this to mean that she knew, and accepted, that she was never meant to have things go well for her. She was the less attractive and less educated sister, permenantly scarred from a fire that burned her home, and had lived through far trauma more than her silly older sister could probably even begin to imagine. However, she didn't let this make her bitter, but rather became complacent. She knew life wasn't fair, and she wasn't going to fight it.

Before this, while I didn't have anything against Maggie, she also didn't really catch my attention all that much. She was just the gawky girl who didn't enjoy anybody's company but her mother's. These three sentences showed that while Maggie was still all those things, she was also gracious. She was willing to give up one of the only things she was ever promised to have that didn't involve trauma or suffering in some form, and she was willing to do so to spare her sister's feelings. These quilts, after all, were probably the first and only things Maggie had that Dee coveted. It was her willingness to give up the quilts that showed that they truly belonged with her. It wasn't about who would take better care of them, but rather who deserved them more.

I was impressed by how easy it was for Maggie to give up something she seemed to cherish so much, even though it was obvious how ungrateful Dee really was to have all these things. Dee just blew through the house, taking whatever she wanted, because ""no" is not a world the world ever learned to say to her", and instead of being angry or even a little irritated, Maggie just gave in without even a second thought. I was surprised to see that, despite the fact that she seemed to dislike Dee (avoiding her when she visited, and feeling uncomfortable in her presence), she obviously cared about her sister enough to give her something just to make her happy. Dee didn't deserve her sisters love, and she certainly didn't even seem to care.

Quote

"She carried her head high enough-even when we believed that she was fallen" (Faulkner, pg. 32)

It was any easy choice when it came to picking a quote to write about. In Faulkner's story it was easy to see the tragedy, and it was at this point in the story that I felt I really understood our heroine, the smelly recluse known as old Miss Emily.

It was the words "high" and "fallen" that really caught my attention. These two words have two completely opposite meanings, and were a perfect way to describe not only the situation of seeing Miss Emily on the street that day, but also of her story as a whole. Her attempts at seeming untouched by tragedy, of "holding her head high", were a perfect contradiction to the way the people around her perceived her; as a hopeless soul, as "fallen".

The passage was of great importance to the story. Miss Emily was an overall mysterious person. This quote added to the feeling of mystery surrounding her as a person. It gave some insight into her personality. She puts on this front, perhaps out of pride, appearing composed when her past and the resulting recluse-ness speak otherwise. If I had to sum up Emily in just one sentence, I would have put it just like that. However, her short-lived and unsuccessful attempt begs the question of why she gave up putting on a brave face for the public? If she managed to play up her "sanity" so well then, why did she eventually cut herself off from the real world?

What interested me most about this quote was it's simplicity. It said so much in so few words. It captured the essence of Emily's life quite well. It also interested me was how lightly the people around her took her strange behavior. It was as if her refusal to behave as she was expected to given the circumstances was not at all concerning to them.

While reading this story, I was vaguely, yet continuously, reminded of a character in The Virgin Suicides. She was Cecelia Lisbon, the youngest sister of 5, and the first to commit suicide. Cecelia was different than Emily in only one small way; she was not afraid of her actions seeking attention. Cecelia's two suicide attempts consisted of slitting her wrists in the bathtub and having no apparent motive for doing so, and then flinging herself out her window during a party for her and her sisters. Emily, though her behavior was equally as bizarre, especially knowing she was housing the body of her dead lover and possibly sleeping with it, was not as boisterous about her insane plans as Cecelia. However, Cecelia was very much the same as Emily. They both appeared fine and put on a front to hide their true feelings, hoping nobody would be the wiser, and for the most part, it worked.

Freestyle

I suppose for this blog I'm going to talk about both what I'm reading, and an issue I have with this reading. As I mentioned in my previous posting, I'm currently reading A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. If you've ever read this book before, you may be able to guess what it is that I'm choosing to discuss.

I am only about a chapter and a half into this book at the moment, but from what I've deduced so far, this story is about four young friends who behave and speak (and dress) very strangely and love creating trouble. It's told in first person, from the point of view of the main character, Alex. From the first page, practically the first sentence of this book, their dialogue is almost gibberish, which the back cover described at "a brutal invented slang". It opens, page one chapter one paragraph one, with:

"What's it going to be then, eh?

That was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, Dim being very dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry."

This "invented slang" (i.e. gibberish) continues throughout the rest of the chapter, and it's not just mentioned here and there. The entire book is heavily saturated in it. Words like razrezzing, deng, devotchkas, and chelloveck are only a very small sample of the plethora of "slang" this book uses in leu of sensical dialogue.

I won't deny that I am impressed by Burgess' unique words and the way he manages to tie it in so well with the story while still having it make sense (er, sort of). My only issue is that these words have absolutely no meaning to me as a new reader seeing this all for the first time. This is both a burden and a challenge. I only consider it a burden simply because I have to stop on average once every sentence to take in a new word and attempt to use to surrounding dialogue as a clue to what this word might mean. I'm able to figure out most of the words, but not all.

I'm also struggling to read this book at a pace that I'm comfortable with. Like I said, I have to stop frequently in mid-sentence to investigate the meaning of "shoomny smeck", or something of that nature. I normally can read things very quickly, but I find that while reading this book, my pace of reading varies from quick to slow, back to quick, and slow again, and it's more of a challenge to remember what I'd already read because of this constant change of pace. I anticipate that as I read further into the book I'll grow accustomed to the strange "slang" and be able to read through at a steadier pace.

Like I mentioned before, I am only about a chapter and a half into this book, but I'm nervous, though excited, to continue reading. I've heard so many good things about not only this book, but also the accompanying movie. And hey, maybe with all this new terminology, and being forced to work my "glazzies" across these pages at such a staggered pace, I'll be a little bit smarter for having read it.