Curl Up & Die

"Clinging to the remnants of perfection like most do after they break it.
Not knowing which directions the correct one, do I discard or remake it?
Cause if I don't know then I don't know but I may know someone that knows me more than I.
And if I somehow could rest this soul maybe control could find its way back to my life."
(Thiessen)

I chose this song for OH so many reasons. This song, titled "Curl Up And Die" by Relient K, found it's way onto my iTunes at a time when I was searching for direction in my life.

You can look at this song in many different ways. On the surface, it's a song of breaking up. The singer is telling a story of wanting change for his life and not wanting his girlfriend to be a part of it anymore, but having a hard time moving on. This is told in the line "Not knowing which directions the correct one, do I discard or remake it?" How easily can we all relate to losing a significant other, trying to find peace in our lives, and wondering how to move on?

When you look underneath the surface message to find a deeper meaning, it is a song about making any significant life change, and being afraid of what will happen when you do and what could happen if you don't. Nobody likes feeling as though their lives are out of their hands, and the singer conveys his need to change this when he sings "If I somehow could rest this soul maybe control could find its way back to my life".

This song has a Christian undertone, as interperated from the line "If I don't know then I don't know but I may know someone that knows me more than I". However, this "someone" he mentions may not only be limited to God. It could also be anyone in our lives that is our "savior" when we're in our darkest hour.

Overall, I felt that these few lines were the most powerful line of the song. It shows the weakness of the singer that was shown in the previous verse of the song, when he says "I don't like the place I'm in, headspace within the hardwood and the ceiling", and his longing for closure. But it transitions into the next phase of the process, which is looking past the past and towards the future and finding that place where he can be happy.

This song was my guide for picking up the pieces of my heart after a split with my husband. The breakup was what I'd wanted, what I needed after living through abuse for over three years, but moving on was not easy for me. This is why I chose the passage I chose, because I was "clinging to the remnants of perfection" of my love for the man I made my husband, and I went back and forth in my mind about whether it was worth giving him a chance to redeem himself. Thiessen sings "I feel fine but I know the same does not apply to you...So I guess that I'll curl up and die, too." I found myself saying this too many times, willing to look past the pain he caused me, LITERALLY, to make him happy. Oh, the things we do for love.

You can find listen to the song here:http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#curl%20up%20and%20die%20relient%20k