Freestyle

This week I've been on a mission to find music that helps me put my feelings into words, because lately I find it hard to express what I'm feeling. Here are a few songs I found, and the lyrics that I have used to apply to my life. Keep in mind, while reading these lyrics, that I am not angsty or otherwise feeling sorry for myself. I am simply feeling slightly overwhelmed.

Molly Marlette-Constantly:

"I close my eyes
I'm holding on tight
I wont let go
To what I've known
I know it's not right
But It's what I know

Baby, I won't keep fighting constantly
For inconsistency, I'm waiting
Always trying, still resisting
The one thing that I'm missing"

This is 100% me, as much as I hate to admit it. I have a horrible habit of holding on to the past, regardless of how much it led me astray and left me feeling hurt. All I know in my relationships is conflict, conflict, and more conflict. I'm so used to it that I find myself carrying past experiences over into new relationships, and finding ways to create conflict in an otherwise peaceful situation.

Margot and the Nuclear So and So's-On a Freezing Chicago Street:

"So if your lover should leave don't get too sad
And don't compose any poems to win her back
Cause when you're burned as though she'll never return home
Though all your life you'll wait she never will return"

I also feel that this song applies to me in the case of me in my past relationship. When the relationship ended, he did everything he could to get me back, even changing his whole personality and outlook on life. I, somehow, was strong enough to see through it and told him it didn't matter what he did, I would never go back, but still he tried. So I suppose this is my song for him.

Ray LaMontagne-A Falling Through:

Don't you care
That it may seem unfair?
(You steal things you ought to borrow)
Don't you find
That it may seem unkind?
(I'd rather breathe than drown in sorrow)

This song speaks to me on a very personal level. I can hardly listen to it without crying. I will be the first to admit that I'm not dealing with things the way I should, and that running away just makes me hold on tighter to things I need to face head on and let go of. I suppose this is my own private plea to be heard and understood.

Imogen Heap-Wait It Out:

"Everybody says time heals everything
but what of the wretched hollow?
The endless in between
are we just going to wait it out?"

I absolutely love Imogen Heap, and have for years now, and this is easily my favorite song by her because I love this line. It's so true. There are some things that are hard to wait out. Yes, time will make things better, but the healing might not happen quickly enough which leaves the often unwanted opportunity to be alone with your thoughts.